Memoirs Of Saruf Alam

My FIRST TEACHER PRANK

I woke up to face another boring and beastly school day with miraculously a smile. I was looking forward to this day unlike every other kid of my age in the neighborhood. Our teacher was someone who without doubt had some sort of evil streak but today was her birthday and unfortunately for her, my first teacher’s prank day. May God bless the poor soul! I dressed up and ate breakfast without much screaming and fretting this day and chuckled when I looked at my mother’s surprised and shocked face. The school bus arrived and I felt even more excited but nervous about my treacherous plan. This day was my acid test as I had to prove to my friends that I have it in me to do what I said.  I dreamt about walking in front of the class with my friends looking at me with awe after I have finished my task as planned. I came out of my day dreaming as the bus halted with a jolt. We had arrived at school and I hurried out with my bag containing all the contents for my prank.

I walked through the dusty hallway with the smell of the strong aroma of coffee which always came from the teacher’s lounge and could hear my teacher’s scolds that never stopped. The black marble and the red bricked texture walls were wet and dirty like always. No one ever minded our school’s appearance nor bothered to clean it. The hallway slowly got more crowded with bigger children who always cooed at me and then laughed together like I was a pet. The gardener waved at me from the far end in a corner, filling his pot, like everyday. I always felt like I was in a movie where someone controlled the remote and replayed one scene on and on and on but today, I was the director who decided to change a part for once. I reached my class at the end of the hallway and took a deep breath just to cough because of the dust. I walked in and was welcomed by my friends and a ladder. They were ready for the prank but was I? I had second thoughts and asked them “what if this goes wrong? What if the teacher doesn’t come to the class? What if the teacher gets badly hurt?”

“Nothing will happen we are brave people so let’s hurry up” said my friend. We voted for who would go up the ladder and place the books over the fan so they can fall over our teacher. I obviously had to climb the ladder as they were my books and it was my idea. The fan was really dirty because no one cleaned it and all the dust would always spread around the room when put on. I carefully placed the books in equal quantities on each blade so that the fan doesn’t looks imbalanced.  We quickly placed the ladder outside the classroom so someone could trip and the hallway atmosphere would cheer up a bit. We took our seats and got ready to protect ourselves for the disaster which was about to take place and of which we were the masterminds. My other classmates also slowly came in with the same sigh and took their places.

We waited for the teacher to come and soon enough heard her voice. I heard her giant feet stomping towards our class while her mouth shouting at everyone she could or spitting on the floor. I saw two children from the window giving out a relief that she didn’t teach them and then running away as she came near them. She entered the class with her cane that she fortunately never used in contact with children but unfortunately had no mercy for animals. I started sweating with the count of every second, waiting for it all to happen but it felt that the teacher had become slow. She headed for the switched with 5 pairs of eyes following her every muscle movement. Within a blink of an eye, she headed towards the switch board on the wall to put on the fan. What followed was a scene straight out of the cartoon movies or in the episodes of “America’s funniest home videos”. Books of all sizes came down hurling in all directions in the class. They flew everywhere crashing and zipping like torpedoes. I and my friends ducked under our tables and smiled at our accomplishments. I could smell the dust spreading from the fan into the class and being carried around by the books. In few seconds, it was all over. We quickly took to our normal places and acted as if we were shell shocked by the turn of the event. The teacher was lying flat on the floor, looking with a stupefied expression at the class which was hilarious. She tried to get up but slipped again. We rushed forward to help her to get her on her feet. She stood up slowly and sat on her chair to perhaps steady her nerves. Slowly she picked up her cane and looked at all of us with piecing eyes.  Her eyes started scanning the room and finally came to rest on me. With glaring eyes and nostrils flaring with anger that could have exploded any moment, she screamed “SAAAAAAAARUF”.